Drunken Phase

‍

I talk a lot about a term I have coined and refer to as the ‘drunken phase’. This phase explains the feeling most people go through post separation or divorce. It includes feeling numb, sad, depressed, hurt and overwhelmed. It’s the feeling that your whole world has imploded, and every single day, hour and minute is a struggle.

The drunken phase has a different timeline for different people. For some this can last a month or two and others can last decades (this is in very extreme cases). It is because of this that itis important for you to acknowledge the position you are in and allow yourself the time to process and heal. Think about it like the 5 stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance). We can go through these stages in order, out of order, jumping back to previous stages and in the case of some of us lucky ones, we will be stuck on repeat (yes, I was being sarcastic).

During this phase it is vital you allow yourself to feel every emotion your body experiences, within a safe and secure environment. Unfortunately, there are no short cuts to this. The longer you suppress the process, the longer it will take. However, there are things you can do to help the process.

Talk

Ensure you have access to a good psychologist or psychiatrist. This can either be through referral from your GP, your employees Employee Assistance Program (EAP), a friend or support service.

Talk to your friends. Regardless what you think, they want to help and the best thing they can do for you is to listen. You may think you are dragging them down, however they are the best form of support you can get as they know you and care about you.

Talk to your family. For those lucky enough to have a supportive family, now is the time to lean on them. Ask for help and support.

Talk to us! Phoenix2Warrior offers one-to-one sessions at a price cheaper than a 1hr massage! See the website for further details – phoenix2warrior.com.au

Take time for you

Use the time to just be. Be present. Be aware of your emotions and how you are feeling. Acknowledge that this is how you are feeling today. Write in a journal, enjoy a warm bath, read a book, go for a walk, go to the gym, listen to music, sit and watch the grass grow, whatever you need to do – do it!  

Don’t make big decisions

Making big decisions during this phase is not wise. Emotions tend to make us do things upon impulse rather than rational. It is because of this we tend to make poor decisions. Kind of like dancing on a tabletop when drunk – not the smartest move!

Lastly

Remember you are not alone. Although it may not feel like it, the feelings and emotions you are going through are normal. You will get through this. And just like the Buddhism term of impermanence, ‘everything changes, nothing lasts forever’.

If you have found this post beneficial, please like and share, as you never know who may benefit.

#phoenix2warrior

‍