How do I deal with my emotions?

You could be happy one minute and then a big ball of tears the next. But why does this happen to us? The main culprit is depression. Depression can be triggered by a traumatic life event, such as separation and it can make you feel like you are in the depths of hell. This period of my life I refer to as my ‘drunken haze’. I literally felt like I was drunk for 12 months of my life. Some people liken it to having their head stuck in the clouds, but whatever analogy works for you.

I used to think emotions were uncontrollable and to some extent, they aren’t. Emotions are natural. They are meant to be felt. However, with time and experience, you can learn to control when to show your emotions. Overtime, you become aware of things in which trigger your emotions and the key is to recognise, acknowledge, make note and debrief when you have the time. Don’t get me wrong, this is extremely hard and as I mentioned to you, this takes lots of time and experience, so please don’t be disheartened if this does not work for you. Everyone is different.

When I am feeling sad and lonely there are a few things I do to help work through the process. One of these is to put on a sad movie, get a box of tissues and a block of chocolate and let it all out. This process can be refreshing and provide you with some form of gratitude as it can show you that bad things happen to all of us. Well, ok, yes they are only actors and it is a movie but you get my point right?

Another tool I use is what I call my ‘pity party’. I love throwing myself a pity party when I feel like the walls are caving in on me. I allocate myself the time to let it all go. But once I am done, I allow myself time to process what bought the emotions on and why I felt the way I did. During this processing time, I can sometimes fall back into my pity party but I make sure that once I am done, I go back to processing. Processing can take a long time and you may not be able to answer all of your questions, however when you are finished, you need to sit in front of a mirror and give yourself 5 compliments. For example: I am a beautiful woman, I deserve better, I am worth it, I am strong and I will get through this. This step of the process is essential as it provides the foundations for your strength, just like a Phoenix rising from the ashes.

I am going to go out on a limb here and share with you one more strategy in which I use. It is simple but oh sooo effective. When it rains, I walk outside to the driveway and simply lie down, face up looking like a starfish. Laugh now but when you try it, I want you to come back and comment on my post and let me know what you felt. The sensation of being one with the earth and letting go of my tension is simply grounding. Yes, your clothes will get wet – so what?? Live a little.

Finally, I used to feel that if I ignored my emotions they would simply go away. They don’t. In fact, these emotions will manifest and come out when you least expect it and, in my experience, the most embarrassing situations possible. So, please ladies & gentleman, allow yourself the time to feel angry, sad, pissed off, confused, lost and hurt because the best way to deal with your emotions is to FEEL them.

If you would like to talk to someone please refer to beyond blue (www.beyondblue.org.au) or lifeline (www.lifelinetasmania.org.au). Alternatively, you can email me at admin@phoenix2warrior.com.au.