Independent happiness

I met my husband when I was 15 years old. I was young and did not have the experience or knowledge about relationships to fully understand what I was signing up for. Although I would like to think I was smart enough to understand who I was and what I wanted from life, I had no idea. I fell in love.

Being so young, you don’t understand that your own happiness is your responsibility. Being invincible, you jump in openly, freely letting go to the dream of love and the happily ever after. Surrendering yourself to your partner and handing them your ‘rock’ to hold and protect.

Sadly, this story is like so many. I am not sure if this is due to cultural background, historical social inequality, Hollywood or just simply a lack of experience but either way, I want to educate my daughter and others to not be blinded by the strong emotions of love.

Happiness comes from within. It is important to take your time to figure out who you are prior to entering into a relationship. But why, you ask? If you continue handing over your ‘rock’ you will never be comfortable being present in your own skin. If you are not comfortable being with yourself, you are effectively putting the burden of your own happiness onto someone else. Therefore, relinquishing any responsibility toward your own happiness. Do you see what I mean?

Not all people come into our lives for a long time. Not all relationships are meant to last. But for those that don’t, it is important to understand your learnings, reset and spend time being comfortable in your own skin before trying again.

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